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[adult swim]... è íå òîëüêî!



 Ñàéò Ñèìïñîíîâ è ôóòóðàìû

 
ÏÅÑÅÍÊÈ ÈÇ ÝÏÈÇÎÄÎÂ
(english version)

 

Êàéë Áðîôëîâñêè

Ýïèçîä 110: Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo - A Lonely Jew On Christmas

It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas
My friends won't let me join in any games
And I can't sing Christmas songs or decorate a Christmas tree
or leave water out for Rudolph 'cause there's something wrong with me
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity
I'm a Jew
A lonely Jew
On Christmas

Chanukkah is nice, but why is it
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating ham I have to eat kosher latke
Instead of Silent Night I'm singing huhash do gavish
And what the fuck is up with lighting all these fucking candles, tell me please?
I'm a Jew
A lonely Jew
I'd be merry
But I'm Hebrew
On Christ-maas

Ýïèçîä 110: Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo - Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made you out of clay
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, with dreidel I will play
Second verse, same as the first
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidelll-I…

Ýïèçîä 209: Chef's Salty Chocolate Balls - I Can See Clearly Now

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.
I can see obstacles in my way.
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind-

Ýïèçîä 313: Hooked On Monkey Fonics - Rebecca

Everywhre I go, I'm thinking of you, Rebecca.
I don't know what to do, Rebecca.
You're so nice, I'd like to get to know you better.
So what do you say we get together?
You really are quite good-looking, Rebecca!
You really are quite good-looking, Rebecca!
Rebecca, you're really quite good-looking!
You're a fox.

Ýïèçîä 416: The Wacky Molestation Adventure - My Wish For Cuba

If I had one wish it'd be for Cuba to change.
Because I think that all the Cubans are in pain
All the joy in the world, from sea to shining sea
Doesn't mean a thing if Cubans aren't free
I just can't be very happy, that's certain
Not as long as your Cubans are hurtin'
Oh, won't you search your soul and find a way to change your mind?
That is my one and only wish.

Ëåîïîëüä "Áàòòåðñ" Ñòîò÷


Ýïèçîä 407: Cherokee Hair Tampons - Get Well, Kyle

We're so sorry you're not feeling well.
We hope you're better soon.
So we're bringing you some sunshine
By, um, singing you this tune:
Everybody misses you
And though we hate to cause a fuss
We'd like to say, "Get well soon!"
And "Please don't die on us."

Ýïèçîä 409: Something You Can Do With Your Finger - Little Bunny Foo-Foo

Little Bunny Foo-Foo hoppin' through the forest
Scoopin' up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head
Down came a white angel and she said
"Little Bunny Foo-Foo, I don't wanna see you
Scoopin' up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head."
So now I'm gonna turn you into a worm, mbuh, mBunny Foo-Foo. Eh, beh-POOF
Little Wormy Foo-Foo crawlin' through the forest
Gettin scooped up by the field mice who mah-m then they bopped 'im on the head

Ýïèçîä 514: Butters' Very Own Ýïèçîä - Bennigan's Happy Anniversary Song

Happy Happy Anniversary from everyone at Bennigan's

Ýïèçîä 514: Butters' Very Own Ýïèçîä - Bennigan's Jingle

For family fun and great food, too, come on down to... Bennigan's
Buffalo wings and partridge scones, plus cru found at... Bennigan's
So come and eat at... Bennigan's.
You'll love all our... shenanigans...

Ýïèçîä 711: Casa Bonita - If You Leave Me Now (by Chicago)

But if you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me.
Oo-oo-ooooo-oo girl, baby please don't go. Eh,
Oo-oo-ooooo-oo girl-

You take away the biggest part of me.
Woo-oo-ooooo-oo-oo, uh baby please don't go.

Woo-oo-ooooo-oo-oo, I just had to find my say to you tan...

Ýïèçîä 802: AWESOM-O - I Like To Brush My Teeth

I like to brush my teeth in the morning and at night.
The teeth won't mind ..

Ýïèçîä 802: AWESOM-O - My Robot Friend

(Butters gets to know AWESOM-O)
Hey there have you heard about my robot friend?
He's metal and small and doesn't judge me at all.
He's a cyberwired bundle of joy.
My robot friend.

I like to dip and daddle with my robot friend.
He's smart as can be and emotion-free
And he's computin' his way to my heart.
My robot friend.
My robot friend.
My robot friend.
My robot ...friend.

(Butters and AWESOM-O in Los Angeles)
I'm hangin' out in LA with my robot friend
We're havin' such fun in the hot hot sun
We're two of a kind- That's me!
And my robot friend.
My robot friend.
My robot ...friend.

(Butters loses AWESOM-O, slow)
Hey there, did you know I had a robot friend?
We used to laugh and play, but someone took him away.
He was my ten gigahertz old pal.
My robot friend.

Ýïèçîä 805: You Gof F'd In The A - I've Got Some Apples

Loo loo loo, I've got some apples.
Loo loo loo, you've got some too.
Loo loo loo, I've-



Ìàëü÷èêè

Ýïèçîä 101: Cartman Gets an Anal Probe - School day, School day

School day, school day, teacher's golden ru…

Ýïèçîä 101: Cartman Gets an Anal Probe - We Got Out of School

We got out of schoo-ol, no more school today, We got out of schoo-ol, no more school today…

Ýïèçîä 701: A Little Bit Country - We Got Out of School

We got out of schoo-ol, no more school today, We got out of schoo-ol, no more school today…


Êîðòìýí, Îôèöåð Áàðáðýäè

Ýïèçîä 101: Cartman Gets an Anal Probe - I Love To Singa

I love to singa!
About the moona and June-a and the springa
I love to singa
about a sky of blue-a or a tea for two-a . . .


Êýòè Ëåå Ýïøòàéí

Ýïèçîä 102: Weight Gain 4000 - If They Could See Me Now

If they could see me now, that little gang of mine.
I'm eating fancy chow and drinking fancy wine.
I'd like those stumble bums to see for a fact
The kind of top-drawer first-rate chums I attract
[Mexican puppet] All I can say is, "Wow-wee, look-a where I am."
[Tourist puppet] Tonight I landed, Pow!, right in a pot of jam.
What a setup! Holy Cow!
They'd never believe it, if my friends could see me now!


Ïåâöû Ýëà Ãîìîñåêà

Ýïèçîä 104: Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride - It's Okay To Be Gay

We're all gay, and it's okay
'cause gay means happy and happy means gay.
We're not sad anymore, cause we're out the closet door.
It's okay, hey, to be gay!

It's okay to be gay
It's okay to be gay
Shalala, waylaylay
Shalala, waylaylay
It's okay to be gay

Richard Stamos

Ýïèçîä 104: Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride - Loving You

Loving you
is easy cause you're beautiful
- doo-n-doo--doo-doooo--
Ahhhh [his voice cracks and the music stops] Ahhhh


Mephesto, Chef

Ýïèçîä 105: An Elephant Makes Love To A Pig - Pig And Elephant DNA Just Won't Splice

Diindoon - pig and elephant DNA just won't splice!


Ñåìüÿ Ìàðø

Ýïèçîä 106: Death - Happy Birthday To You

Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear grandpa, happy birthday to you.


Ìèññèñ Êðòìýí

Ýïèçîä 107: Pinkeye - Decorating for Halloween

Oooh, I'm gonna decorate the house for Halloween,
with scary ghosts and bats and creepy crawly things…

Ýïèçîä 107: Pinkeye - The Most Wonderful Time Of the Year

It's the most wonderful time of the year….


Mr. Hankey

Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo - Santa Claus Is On His Way
(Howdy Ho)

Santa Claus is on his way
He's loaded goodies on his sleigh
To drop them off on Christmas Day
And I'll say 'Howdy-ho'

Folks'll gather round the fire
sing a song, stroll the choir
Pretty song they'll all retire
And I'll say 'Howdy-ho'

I hope that Santa comes real soon
I've been waiting for some we…

Santa's loaded up his sleigh
flying around his merry way…

Ãîðîä

Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo - Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo

Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
he loves me and I love you
Therefore, vicariously he loves you
Even if you're a Jew

Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny, he can be brown or greenish-brown
But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve, he might come to your town

Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
He loves me. I love you
Heeeeeeee Looooooves Yoooooouu!


Îôèöåð Áàðáðýäè

Ýïèçîä 203: Chickenfucker - Swingset

Swingset, Swingset, up and down I go
'Whoosh!' goes the willy-wind, flowing through my toes.

Ýïèçîä 215: Spooky Fish - Jimmy Crack Corn

-crack corn and I don't care
Jimmy crack corn and I don't care
My master's gone away

[long pause]

Jimmy crack corn and I don't care

Mr. Mackey

Ýïèçîä 204: Ike's Wee Wee - Love is a Battlefield

We are young, mkay?
Heartache to heartache we stand, 'kay?
No promises, no demands, hand-han-han-han…

Ïåâåö

Ýïèçîä 205: Conjoined Fetus Lady - You're My Conjoined Twin

You've got the strength, you've got the courage
Even with a dead fetus on your head
Carry on! Fight for tomorrow!
Dead fetus or no, you never let go!

You're my conjoined-twin, dead-thing-hanging-off-your-head woman

Jimbo

Ýïèçîä 206: The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka - Huntin' and Killin' Closing Song

We're so glad you spent your time with us
While we slaughtered our way through nature's guts
Come again and stay a while
We'll kill a lot more living things to make them bleed

The Disciples' Lead Singer

Ýïèçîä 206: The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka - Nothin' from Nothin'

Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'
You've gotta have somethin'…

South Park Parents

Ýïèçîä 207: City On The Edge Of Forever - Runaway, Ccome Home

Little lamb, you're lost in the great big world
Runaway, findin' streets so cold
You left home lookin' for somethin' new.
But all you need is right here waitin' for you

Runaway, come home. We love you just as you are.
Runaway, come home. We're sorry things went this far.

Shari Lewis and Lambchop

Ýïèçîä 208: Summer Sucks - Together, We Can Do Anything

As long as we're together, we can do anything.
We can take on the whole darned world.
We're happy as clams, we've got plenty of pearls.
Through thick and thin, we've always been together…

Ýëòîí Äæîí

Ýïèçîä 214: Chef Aid - Cheddar Cheese Girl

Oh oh, you're my cheddar cheese girl
You're soft but firm, and you go well with wine
Oh oh, cheddar cheese girl
Cheddar, cheddar cheese girl

Ýïèçîä 214: Chef Aid - Wake Up, Wendy

Wake up, Wendy. Smell the coffee
You know I do want you
Your flavors smell of peanuts peanuts peanuts…

Rancid

Ýïèçîä 214: Chef Aid - Tonight

California sun has sunk
But Amana mailed, she'll come tonight
I wish I were junk-

Joe Strummer

Ýïèçîä 214: Chef Aid - Rocking World

Well it's a rockin' world, make no mistake about it
It's a shockin' world, could be what's so great about it
It's a rockin' world, there ain't nothing fake abou-

Ozzy Osbourne

Ýïèçîä 214: Chef Aid - Nowhere To Run, Nowhere To Hide

Ain't nowhere to run (come everybody let's)
Ain't nowhere to hide (come on!)

Ween

Ýïèçîä 214: Chef Aid - The Homo Rainbow

Many colors in my homo rainbow.
Don't be afraid to let your colors shine.

Many colors in my homo rainbow.
Don't we all just-?

The Cartman Clan And The Boys

Ýïèçîä 216: Merry Christmas, Charlie Manson - Hark, The Herald Angels Sing

"Hark," the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the newborn King.
Peace on earth, and mercy mild.
God and sinners reconciled."
[Manson jons them]
Joyful all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
"Hark," the herald angels sing…

Êàëüñîííûå Ãíîìû

Ýïèçîä 217: Gnomes - Search For Underpanties

Time to go to work, work all night
search for underpants hey!
We wont stop until we have underpants
Yum tum yummy tum day!

The Getting Gay With Kids Choir

Ýïèçîä 301: Rainforest Schmainforest - Getting Gay With Kids Is Here!

(before)

[Intro]
Men: Tootin' tootin' to, tada choo choo wow!
[Verse]
Men: There's a place that is magical, and full of rain.
Women: But now it needs help, because it is in pain.
Men: Cleaning the earth is a mighty big chore
All: We're spreading awareness like never before!
[Chorus]
All:: Getting Gay With Kids is here!
To spread the word and bring you cheer
Let's save the rainforest! What do you say?!
Being an activist is totally gay!
[Bridge]
Man: Someday if we work hard, boys and girls,
Woman: There'll be nothing but rainforests covering the entire world!
Man: [joins her] World!
[Chorus]
All:: Getting Gay With Kids is here!
To spread the word and bring you cheer. Yeah!
[Move to E flat] Getting Gay With Kids is here!
Let's save the rainforest! It's totally gay!
It's totally gay!

(after)

[Intro]
Men: Tootin' tootin' to, tada choo choo wow!
[Verse]
Men: There's a place called the rainforest; it truly sucks ass.
Women: Let's knock it all down and get rid of it fast.
Men: You say, "Save the rainforest," but what do you know?
All: You've never been to the rainforest before.
[Chorus]
All: Getting Gay With Kids is here!
To tell you things you might not like to hear.
You only fight these causes 'cause caring sells.
All you activists can go fuck yourselves!
[Bridge]
Man: Someday if we work hard, boys and girls,
Woman: There'll be no more rainforests left in the entire world!
Man: [joins her] World!
[Chorus]
All:: Getting Gay With Kids is here!
To spread the word and bring you cheer. Yeah!
[Move to E flat]
Getting Gay With Kids is here!
Let's knock down the rainforest! What do you say?!
It's totally gay! It's totally gay!



Ìàëü÷èêè

Ýïèçîä 303: Chef's Mama - After Morning The
"The Morning After" sung backwards

.light the for looking on keep Let's
.sunshine the find to chance a have We
.night the to on hold can we If
.after morning a be to got There's

.warm and safe that's…

Petey, the Sexual Harassment Panda

Ýïèçîä 306: Sexual Harassment Panda - Sexual Harassment Panda

Who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree?
Sexual Harassment Panda.
Who explains sexual harassment to you and me?
Sexual Harassment Panda.
"Don't say that! Don't touch there!
Don't be nasty!" says the silly bear.
He's come to tell you what's right and wrong.
Sexual Harassment Panda.

Singers in Commercial

Ýïèçîä 306: Sexual Harassment Panda - Sue Their Asses

Kids picking on you? Well, don't be sad.
Just sue their asses with Kyle's dad!

Skyler

Ýïèçîä 307: Cat Orgy - Shelley

When I saw her walking down the street, I thought she was Shelley, Shelley.
Now that we're together I'm absolutely sure that she's Shelley, Shelley.
Move into my mom's house with me, Shelley Shelley.
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of
Shelley Shelley!

Shelley

Ýïèçîä 307: Cat Orgy - TURDS!

Shelley: So much pain in the world today.
Too many turds are headin' my way.
But we can press our turds together.
Passing by turds whenever.
Skyler: Don't you know? Isn't…
Shelley: Life so full of happiness?
Feel free to mark my words.
But me and you, will my love do
in a world that's full of turds? TURDS!
llama judgin finger-lovin' turds. TURDS!



Pip

Ýïèçîä 308: Two Guys Naked In A Hot Tub - The Merry Tune of Stratford

Whippy-tippy tootoo, tralala-la.
Whippy-tippy tootoo, tralala-la.
Whippy-tippy tootoo, tralala-la.
Wickersham tally-ho, (paf).

Squirt leader

Ýïèçîä 309: Jewbilee - We Are Squirts

We are Squirts, we are Squirts. We're so kosher that it hurts.
When we get older we'll be Scouts, but until then we are Squirts.

Ýïèçîä 309: Jewbilee - We Are Jew Squirts

We are Jew Squirts, we know Jewish
Stick stick smiley smiley Stick stick smiley smiley
dur dur dur dur dur-

Commercial Singer

Ýïèçîä 310: Chinpokomon - Chinpokomon

I've got to buy Chinpokomon
I've got to buy it, I've got to buy it…

Ýïèçîä 310: Chinpokomon - Chinpokomon Camp

Chinpokomon Camp!
I've got to buy a ticket!
I've got to buy one! A ticket!
I've got to buy buy buy!
Chinpoko Mon!

Ýïèçîä 310: Chinpokomon - Wild Wacky Action Bike

Wild Wacky Action Bike! The bike that's hard to ride!
Goin' to try to ride all day long, but I'm goin' to fail
'Cause it's Wild Wacky Action Bike!
You get about in, you get about in Wild Wacky Action Bike!

Ýïèçîä 310: Chinpokomon - Alabama Man

Alabama Man! He's quick, he's strong, he's happ'nin'
He can bowl, he can drink, he can drink a bowl. Alaba-ma Man.
He beat the wife and picks chicks up. Alabama Man!

Ronnie James Dio

Ýïèçîä 313: Hooked On Monkey Fonics - Holy Diver

Holy Diver, you've been down too long in the midnight sea.
Oh, what's becoming of me?
Ride the tiger. You can see his stripes but you know he's clean.
Oh, don't you see what I mean?
Gotta get away, Holy Diver.

Fr. Maxi and the People of South Park

Ýïèçîä 316: Are You There, God? It's Me, Jesus - For He Is Lord

For he is Savior
For he is Lord
He gives me hope when
I have only been bored
And he lifts me up with
His gentle arm…

Mr. Garrison

Ýïèçîä 317: Worldwide Recorder Concert - Put On A Happy Face

Gray skies are gonna clear up,
Put on a happy face.

Ýïèçîä 502: It Hits The Fan - Shitty Shitty Fag Fag

(repeat as often as desired)
Hey, there, shitty shitty fag fag,
Shitty shitty fag fag, how do you do?

Ýïèçîä 511: The Entity - We're in the money, Mr. Hat

We're in the money, Mr. Hat.
We're in the money, Mr. Hat.

Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld

Ýïèçîä 404: Timmy 2000 - Lords of the Underworld

[as Timmy says "Timmuh" to no end…]
Lords of the Underworld.
Darkness fills my heart with pain.

Phil Collins (ahem)

Ýïèçîä 404: Timmy 2000 - Bubudio

Last night I went, "O!"
Bubudio.
Last night I went "Bubudio"
Last night I went "Bubudio"
Last night I went, "O!"
Bububudio

Ýïèçîä 404: Timmy 2000 - You'll Be In… Me!

You're inside of me.
Deep inside of me.
So deep inside, I can feel you pushing against my heart.

You'll be inside of me…


Fingerbang

Ýïèçîä 409: Something You Can Do With Your Finger - Fingerbang

Fingerbang: Fingerbang!
Bang-bang!
Fingerbang-bang!
Bangbangbang!
I'm gonna fingerbang-bang you into my life
Girl, you like to fingerbang, and it's alright.
'Cause I'm the king of fingerbang; let's not fight
I'm goin' tuh fingerbang-bang you ever-y night
Cartman Solo: And girl, you know that you're the only girl for me, girl.
Girl, you're the girl of my fantasies.
You're my girl, you're my girl,
My- …girrrrrrrl…
Fingerbang: Fingerbang!
Bang. Bang bang bang.
Fingerbang-bang!
Bangbangbang!
I'm gonna fingerbang-bang you into my life
Girl, you like to fingerbang, and it's alright.


Ghetto Avenue Boys

Ýïèçîä 409: Something You Can Do With Your Finger - You've… Got… It!

Ghetto Avenue Boys: You've… got… it!
You know you've got… it. [Randy: Girl]
What you've got is it!
Randy: It's obvious to me.
Ghetto Avenue Boys: Shirl! You've… got… it!
It… is what you've got, girl!
What you've got is it!
Randy: Now, give it to me, 'cause-


Wendy

Ýïèçîä 409: Something You Can Do With Your Finger - Mrs. Landers Is A Health Nut

Miiis-suuus Landers was a health nut. She cooked food in a wok.
Mr. Harris was her boyfriend, and he had a great big-
Cock-a-doodle-doodle, the rooster just won't quit
And I don't want my breakfast, because it tastes like-
Shih tzus make good house pets. They're cuddly and sweet.
Monkeys aren't good to have, because they like to beat their-
Meeting in the office or meeting in the hall,
The boss, he wants to see you so you can suck his
Balzac was a writer, he lived with Allen Funt
Mrs. Roberts didn't like him, but that's 'cause she's a-
Contaminated water can really make you sick.
Your bladder gets infected, and blood comes out your-
Dictate what I'm saying, 'cause it will bring you luck
And if you all don't like it, I don't give a flying fuck!

Ike

Ýïèçîä 409: Something You Can Do With Your Finger - Itsy Bitsy Spider

Itsy bitsy spider, out the water spout-

Ýïèçîä 409: Something You Can Do With Your Finger - The Alphabet Song

E F G, H I J K L-M-N-O-P

Ýïèçîä 409: Something You Can Do With Your Finger - Danny Boy

Oh Danny Boy, the parson's calling
Clang, clang and clang

Ýïèçîä 409: Something You Can Do With Your Finger - ???

When ah thanky you be
One on a teacher on a palm tree

Congregation

Ýïèçîä 410: Do The Handicapped Go To Hell? - Walk Hand-In-Hand With Jesus

I walk hand-in-hand with Jesus
Over at the park by where he lives
I tell him all my problems
And sometimes he tells me his

What a friend I have in Jesus
I can say that honestly
He's not like all my other friends
Who really don't care about me.

Amen.

Satan

Ýïèçîä 410: Do The Handicapped Go To Hell? - Hukilau

Singers: Are we going to the Hukilau?
The Huki Huki Huki Huki Hukilau? [Satan joins them]

Are we going to the Hukilau?
The Huki Huki Huki Huki Hukilau?
Everybody loves a hukilau
Where the laulau is the kaukau at the luau.
We throw our nets out into the sea
And all the ama-ama come swimmin' to me
Are we going to the Hukilau?
The Huki Huki Huki Huki Hukilau?

Hula Dancers: Are we going to the Hukilau?
Three Tortured Souls: The Huki Huki Huki Huki Hukilau?
Hula Dancers: Everybody loves a Hukilau,
Males: Where the laulau is the kaukau at the luau
All: We throw our nets out into the sea.
And all the ama-ama come a-swimming to me
Are we going to the hukilau?
The Huki Huki Huki Huki Hukilau?
Huki……… Luki……… Lau?………
Satan: Yeah!

Äåòè

Ýïèçîä 414: Thanksgiving - 1800s Alabama

1800's, Alabama! What a great place and time!
We're so happy that we live in 1800's Alabama 'cause it's sunny and there is no crime!
And in this little town in 1800's Alabama there's a family by the name of Keller!
Their daughter's deaf and mute and blind as a bat, and her parents can't even tell her!!

Ýïèçîä 414: Thanksgiving - Water, Helen, Water

Bebe: Water, Helen, Water.
Kids: She's never gonna do it. There's no way she'll ever do it.
Bebe: Helen, Helen. Water, Helen.
Kids: How can she talk if she can't hear? This is absolutely pointless
Ýïèçîä 414: Thanksgiving - Water, Helen, Water (Reprise)
Kids: She did it! She did it! Water! Water water aaaaaaaa!
Water, Helen, Water.
We can't believe she did it.The dumb kid really did it.
Water, Helen, Water.
Jeffrey: Now that I can communicate the world is not so cold and dark.
Kids:
[slowing]
Water, Helen, Aaa-aaaaaa!

Ýïèçîä 414: Thanksgiving - Blind As A Bat

Helen Keller, Helen Keller, blind as a bat.
She can't hear us speak. What's up with that?

Ýïèçîä 414: Thanksgiving - Helen!

Wendy: John, come quick! Our little baby's very sick
[Stan rushes in]
When I pout she doesn't flinch, and when she doesn't move an inch.
Stan: No, that cannot be. Honey you are scaring me.
Wendy: She can't see hear, John. Watch. Helen!
Stan: Helen!
Wendy: …Helen! [the audience stares in disbelief]
I think our baby's deaf and blind. Oh no!
Stan: Oh no! [they lean on each other]
Wendy: Oh no! Oh no!!!



Mr. Hankey and Cornwallis

Ýïèçîä 417: A Very Crappy Christmas - The Circle of Poo

Mr. Hankey Everything that lives on earth poos in some way
And that's how the cycle happens, each and every day
Just look at the green green grass and the birds up in the sky
It's all here because of poo, and now I'll tell you why
'Cause it's eaten by cattle, which is eaten by women and men
It fuses with their bodies and becomes poo again
And that poo goes through the sewer, where it's dumped into the sea.
And it's eaten by the plankton, and becomes the fishes' meal.

And then that bigger fish with the poo still inside
Swims up near the shore and gets eaten alive
By the grizzly bear that poos on a dead piece of sand
So it can spring to life and become food for the land
It's the poo of the antelope, the poo of the giraffe
It falls onto the earth and becomes the blades of grass
The grass is eaten by the cattle, which comes out the other end
To make food for the humans and start all over again

You see, son? You're not an insignificant part of life. You are life.

Cornwallis: But how can I be that giraffe and blade of grass, and a human? I don't control what they do.
Mr. Hankey: Just like your heart beats without you thinking about it, so, too, your giraffes and your humans do what they do without you even thinkin' about it. But it is all one life form. It is all… you.
Cornwallis: I think I see now.

I'm the poo of the antelope, that flows down to the ground

Mr. Hankey: Becomes the grass of tomorrow
Cornwallis: Yeah
Mr. Hankey: Which the grazers turn around
Cornwallis: So I'm the leg of a leopard and the wings of a hen
Mr. Hankey, Cornwallis: Which becomes dinner for the human and turns back to poo again.

That's the Circle, the Circle of Poo!



Stan, Kyle, Kenny, the Hankey Family

Ýïèçîä 417: A Very Crappy Christmas - Even A Miracle Needs A Hand
a faster version of the song in the animated TV film, 'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Kyle: Miracles happen most every day.
To people like you, and me.
But don't expect a miracle.
Unless you help make it to be.

You hope, and I'll hurry.
You pray, and I'll plan
We'll do what's necessary, 'cause
Even a miracle needs a hand!

Kyle: You love…… And I'll labor.
Stan: …… We love…… Tralala
Kyle: You sit…… And I'll stand.
Stan: …… We sit……Tralalalala
Stan, Kyle: [with Kenny humming] Get help from our next-door neighbor, 'cause
Boys, Hankeys: Even a miracle needs a hand!
[Interlude]
Kyle: You wish…… -And I'll whittle.
Stan: …… We wish…… Tralalalala
Kyle: You sit…… And I'll stand.
Stan: ……We sit…… Tralalalala
Kyle: [with Kenny humming] Let's all try to help a little, 'cause
Boys: Even a miracle-
Stan: …It's okay. We'll just have his character die in the film.
Stan, Kyle: Even a miracle____ needs____ a____ hand!!


A Townsman

Ýïèçîä 502: It Hits The Fan - Old McDonald

Old McDonald took a shit, E I E I O

Marc Shaiman

Ýïèçîä 503: Cripple Fight - Too Fat Polka

I don't want her; you can have her. She's too fat for me.

Timmy

Ýïèçîä 503: Cripple Fight - Old McDonald (Timmy Version)

Tim-mih Tim-mih Tim-mih Timmy, Tim-mih Tim-mih Timmy.

Terrance & Phillip (as kids)

Ýïèçîä 503: Terrance & Phillip: Behind the Blow - Chicken And Ham
Sung to the tune of "Little Brown Jug"

Beef and lamb, chicken and ham
Step to the left and clap your hands!
Gosh we love our chicken and ham
Don't let it go to waste that chicken and ham!

Towelie

Ýïèçîä 508: Towelie - Funky Town

Won't ya take me down... to Funky Town.

Fleetwood Mac

Ýïèçîä 509: Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants - Edge of Seventeen
The words have been changed a bit

Fleetwood Mac: Just like the wild winged bird sings a song-
Stand back, she's singin'.
Goat: Maaa
Fleetwood Mac: Baby
Goat: Maaa
Fleetwood Mac: Babe
Goat: Maa-ha


Snoop Dogg

Ýïèçîä 512: Here Comes The Neighborhood - Snippets from his new album

I found a girl who had an innie and I felt her with my jimmy Player-haters try to do me 'cause my rhymes are just tooo-

I shout "Hell Yeah!" from my vehicle. Livin' is a miracle-

Millionaire Protesters

Ýïèçîä 512: Here Comes The Neighborhood - We shall Perservere

We shall perservere. We shall perservere.

Token

Ýïèçîä 512: Here Comes The Neighborhood - If I Can't Be Poor

Why can't I be like all the other kids?
They all have three-bedroom homes, broken trucks on their lawns.
And cut-up hot dogs for lunch
It's not my fault my parents succeed so much.

There's no one in town I can relate to
I play with autographed baseball bats
while everyone else just plays with sticks and pine cones
Has a boy ever felt so alone?

Well, who needs them anyway? I won't pretend to be something I'm not
If I can't be poor, I've got to deal with what I've got.
If I can't be like them, what I need is more rich kids around,
So I'm not the only one, and then I won't be so... down.
Please, God, send more rich kids...
To my...
Town

ARG Truck Driver

Ýïèçîä 513: Kenny Dies - On The Road Again

...going places that I've never been
Seeing things that I may never see a-

Cartman and Congress

Ýïèçîä 513: Kenny Dies - Heat Of The Moment

Cartman: It was the heat of the moment
Telling me what your heart meant
The heat of the moment
shone in your eyes

I never meant to be so bad to you
One thing I said that I would never do

Congressman 1: One look from you and I would fall from grace.
Congressman 2: And that would wipe the smile right from my face.
Congressman 1, Cartman: Do you remember when we used to dance?
A few Congressmen: And incidents arose from circumstance?
Everyone: One thing led to another; we were young.
And we would scream together songs unsung

It was the heat of the moment
Telling me what your heart meant
The heat of the moment
shone in your eyes



The Butters Show Choir

Ýïèçîä 514: Butters' Very Own Ýïèçîä - Everyone know it's Butters!

(after "Everyone know it's Butters!", one can say "That's me" as Butters would.)

Who's the boy who can laugh at a storm cloud?
Turn a frown into a smile for free?
Who's the kid with the heart full of magic?
Everyone know it's Butters!

Who's the boy with the eyes full of wonder?
Thinks being yourself is the best thing to be?
Who's that rascal with the tweezers in his pocket?
Everyone know it's Butters!

Jumpin' in puddles, skippin' down the hallway
Pettin' at the petting zoo. He loves John Alway.

Who's that tyke with the cutest little dimples,
Battin' his eyes at every puppy he sees?
If you look inside yourself, you might be surprised when you find
A little boy named Butters!

Butters and the Freaks

Ýïèçîä 601: Freak Strike - The True Freak Label

Look for the True Freak label when you are watching a TV talk show
Remember somewhere our union's growing, our wages going to feed the kids, and run the house.
We work hard, but who's complaining? With TFU we're making our way!
So always look for the True Freak label, because you need us right here in the U.S.A.!

Original - The Union Label
A song by Paula Green, music by Malcolm Dodds ©1975, UNITE
Union of Needltrades, Industrial and Textile Employees
(formerly International Ladies' Garment Workers'Union and other unions)

Look for the union label when you are buying that coat, dress or blouse.
Remember somewhere our union's sewing, our wages going to feed the kids, and run the house.
We work hard, but who's complaining? Thanks to the I.L.G. we're paying our way!
So always look for the union label, it says we're able to make it in the U.S.A.!

Ðàçëè÷íûå

Ýïèçîä 602: Jared Has Aides - Variations on a commercial

(The Clay Henry commercial)

Mr. Garrison: His name is Garrison, Mr. Garrison.
He lost ten pounds takin' Jared's lead-
Stan:
Cartman:
Kyle:
Stan:
Cartman:
His name is Butters, it's Butters.
He used to be fat but not no more
City Wok brought him down to a size 4.
Now he's got lots of moneys and girls
[slowing] and a lifetime of free food at City Wok.
City Wok Owner: His name is Jared, he lose some weight.
Shitty Wok food sure sells great.


Offscreen Singer

Ýïèçîä 602: Jared Has Aides - Subway dirge

(spoof of "Streets Of Philadelphia," by Bruce Springsteen)

His name is Jared. Jared lost weight eating Subway and ... sandwiches of



Singer for Subway

Ýïèçîä 602: Jared Has Aides - Still Lookin' Good!

He's still lookin' good!
His name is Jared
His name is Jared and he likes to eat the sandwiches...

He's still lookin' good, with all those... sub sandwiches...

He's still lookin' good, eatin' them sandwiches all the time...



Tad

Ýïèçîä 603: Asspen - Stan Darsh

Staaaaan... Daaaaarsh...
Stan. Darsh. Darshy Daaarsh
Stan Daaarsh
Stan Darsh, Standarsh
Stan Daaaaarsh Daaarsh
Stan Darsh...

The Russell Crowe Show

Ýïèçîä 604: The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer - Foightin' 'Round The World

Intro

Born in New Zealand in sixty-four
A hot-headed actor named Russell Crowe
He loves to act but he loves one thing more:
Fight-in' Round The World

He fight his directors and he fights his fans
It's a problem no one understands
If there's two things he love it's fighting and,
Fight-in' Round The World

Makin' movies, makin' music and
Fight-in' Round The World!

Russell Crowe!

Exit

Tugger's whistle's blowin'
Means we must be goin'
No more Russell Crowein' for you.

But now don't you start to whine
I'll see ya again next time.
'Cause there's plenty a-more a-foightin' left to do.

Makin' movies, makin' songs, an' foightin' round the world.

Free Hat Club Members

Ýïèçîä 609: Free Hat - Tropical song

Members: In the tropical isle with the coconut tree,
the air is fresh and the people are free.
Man 5: But here in the mountain there's no freedom like that.
Skeeter: There's a man in prison and his name is Hat.


Alan Jackson

Ýïèçîä 612: A Ladder To Heaven - The Ladder To Heaven

Where were you when they built the ladder to heaven?
Did it make you feel like cryin', or did you think it was kind of gay?
Well I, for one, believe in the ladder to heaven.
Oh yeah yeah yeah. 9-11
I said 9-11, 9-11, 9-11, Ni-hi, hi-hine___
Eleven.

Where were you when they ran out of stuff to build the ladder to heaven?

Where were you when they saved that ladder to heaven?

Where were you when they decided heaven was a more intangible idea 'n you couldn't, you couldn't really get there?



Frankenstein Alien

Ýïèçîä 615: The Biggest Douche In the Universe - The Biggest Douche In the Universe

Here he is, the Biggest Douche of the Universe! In all the galaxies, there's no bigger douche than you!
You've reached the top, the pinnacle of douchedom! Good going, douche. Your dreams have come true!

Mr. Hankey and Cartman

Ýïèçîä 617: Red Sleigh Down - Poo Choo Train

Mr. Hankey: Poo Choo Train's layin' down its tracks with a
Whistle: Poo Choo!
Mr. Hankey: All the way and back!
Cartman: Poo Poo Train is my favorite thing, spreading Christmas joy as we ride and sing!
Mr. Hankey: Christmastime wouldn't be the same without hugs and kisses and a Poo Choo Train.


Randy and Skeeter

Ýïèçîä 701: I'm A Little Bit Country - A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock-n-Roll (Medley)

Skeeter: Well excuse me if...
I'm a little bit country.
Randy: Well I'm a little bit rock-n-roll!
Skeeter: I'm a little for supportin' our troops.
Randy: And I'm a little for bringin' them home.
Skeeter: I believe freedom isn't free.
Randy: No, but war shouldn't be our goal.
Skeeter: We must defend our country.
Randy: If it means war, then we say NO!
Skeeter: Did you forget them towers in New York?
Did you forget how it made you feel
To see them towers come down?
Were you like me? Did you think it weren't real?
Randy: I like to rock, but I don't wanna rock Iraq!
The only kind of rockin' America should do is the kind that we can all dance to, yeah!
Skeeter: We got GPS, ICBMs, and good old-fashioned lead.
We're gonna show Saddam what America means; that son of a bitch will be dead.
Randy: Why are we fightin' this war?
There's a man in the office we didn't vote for.
They didn't give me a choice.
War is not my voice! Yeaaaaahhhh!


Randy, Skeeter, The Town

Ýïèçîä 701: I'm A Little Bit Country - A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock-n-Roll

Skeeter: Hey I'm a little bit country
Randy: And I'm a little bit rock-n-roll-eh
Skeeter: I'll be the muscle of America
Randy: And me, I'll be the caring soul.
Together: When you put us together you get a nation with one goal
To thrive and prosper, with a little country and rock and roll.
Randy: Come on up here, everybody!
Everybody: We're a little bit country, and we're a little bit rock-n-roll
Stuart: We can be a nation that believe in war,
Mr. Mackey: And still tells the world that we don't.
Everybody: Let the flag for hyprocisy fly high from every pole
We're a little bit country, and we're a little bit rock-n-roll
Randy: Well, goodnight everybody. It sure has been great bringing you a hundred Ýïèçîäs.
Skeeter: We want to thank our guests, the pro-war people. And the anti-war people.
Everybody: For the war, against, the war, WHO CARES?? One hundred Ýïèçîäs!


Crips and Bloods

Ýïèçîä 702: Krazy Kripples - Naaa na naaa, Crips and Bloods

It used to be that Crips and Bloods didn't get along,
But now we're all a family, so we wrote this song.
Naaa na naaa, Crips and Bloods. Naaa na naaa, hope and love.
Naaa na naaa, friendly thugs.

Ëþäè South Park

Ýïèçîä 707: Red Man's Greed - Love is a Battlefield

We are strong
No one can tell us we're wrong
Searching our hearts for so lohh-oo-ohh-oo-ong
Both of us knowing...
Love Is A Battlefield

Butt Out!

Ýïèçîä 713: Butt Out! - Butt Out!

Butt Out!: Butt out! Yeah yeah! Kids, that cigarette butt is gross!
Butt out! Uh huh! Smokin's got to go!

[rap]
Butt out! Yeah yeah! It's cool to say no!
Butt out! Uh huh! Smokin's got to go!

Randy: [beat box] ... Smoking, no. No smoking.
Kyle: Freestyle!
Pam: Vernon!
Vernon: Don't smoke! Don't ever smoke!
Butt Out!: Kyle!
Kyle: B to the U to the T to the T to the
O to the U to the T to the C to the
I to the G to the A to the R to the
E to the T to the T to the E!
Butt out, cigarette!
Butt Out!: Randy!
Randy: Smoke you know has got to go.
You go, you got to know to say the "no"
To the smoke, you go go ...
You gotta get it!
Butt Out!: Pam!
Pam: [screech] Don's smoke.
Butt Out!: Woohoo!
Butt out! Yeah yeah! Give that cigarette butt a throw!
Butt out! Uh huh! Smokin's got to go!

The Broflovskis

Ýïèçîä 715: It's Christmas in Canada - Chanukah, Chanukah

Chanukah, Chanukah, sivivon, sov, sov
Sov, sov, sov! Sov, sov, sov! Ma nayim vi-tov.

The Canadians

Ýïèçîä 715: It's Christmas in Canada - Welcome to Canada!

Canadians: Welcome, friend, to Canada! Canada Friends loves you!
We're just like any other country without the big tattoo!
Sailor: We greet thee with pleasure, but one question, if we may?
Businessman: What brings you folks to Canada? Why are you here today?
Kyle: Uh. My adopted brother got taken back here to Canada? So, we want to talk to the new Canadian Prime Minister about getting him back?
Canadians: His brother is our quest. The question is, is what?
You must talk to the new Prime Minister if you think his brother's home's back there

Ýïèçîä 715: It's Christmas in Canada - Follow the Only Road

Priest: Follow the only road.
Man: Follow the only road.
Canadians: To go anywhere in Canada, you just follow the only road.
There's only one road in Canada. We call it the Road, the only road.
Hip-hip, hooray, let's hear it for our Road.
Road Workers: And it's paved and wide and up to code.
Canadians: You're off to see the Prime Minister, the Prime Minister of Canada!

Ýïèçîä 715: It's Christmas in Canada - Ding Dong, They Caught Saddam!

Ding dong, they caught Saddam! Merry Christmas to the world!
Ding dong, the Americans caught Saddam!
Now Canada is free for you and you and me
It's the best Christmas presents we ever got
Canadian Christmas, it's the best! We drink and dance and show our breasts!
Let's celebrate! Saddam Hussein's been caught!

The French Canadians

Ýïèçîä 715: It's Christmas in Canada - There'z no Canada like French Canada

French Canadians: There'z no Canada like French Canada, it'z za bezt Canada in ze land.
Ze ozer Canada is hardly Canada. If you lived here for a day, you'd understand.

There'z no Canada like French Canada, it'z za bezt Canada in ze land.
And ze ozer Canada.

Mime: Is a bullshit Canada
French Canadians: If you lived here for a day, you'd understand.
Mime: I think you'd understand.
...You understand.

A Rancher

Ýïèçîä 805: You Got F'd In The A - Honey, Babe, Be Mine

(Cocaine Round)
You'll do a line and I'll do a line, honeeey.
You'll do a line and I'll do a line, babe.
You'll do a line and I'll do a line, we'll fight an' screw 'til the mornin' time.
Honey, babe, be mine.

You'll do a line and I'll do a line, honey-

(later)

You'll snort K and I'll snort K, honeeey.
You'll snort K and I'll snort K, babe.
You'll snort K and I'll snort K, we'll fight an' screw all night and day.
Honey, babe, be mine.

 

Ýïèçîä 807: The Jeffersons - Songs by Michael Jefferson

My Wishing Tree

Have you been up my ...Wishing Tree?
It's where I come to think and dream.
And now I'd like to show you my ...Wishing Tree.
Where we can laugh and giggle and scream.
Imagination is the key. Won't you imagine along with me?
We can be spacemen, or pirates on the sea
Yes we can do everything, and I mean, everything!
Up in my Wishing Tree!

Let's Ride the Train

Mr. Jefferson: Would you like to ride the train with me,
and start a magical journey?
Cartman: Yes I would, Mr. Jefferson.
You're so awesome, Mr. Jefferson.
Mr. Jefferson:
(Cartman:)
Let's ride and ride on the train together
(... Train together)
On a journey through both of our minds.
(... I've got time. Do youuu??)

I'm Peter Pan

Look at me, I'm Peter Pan. I'm a little boy forever.

Goodnight

Now let's all sleep and dream of fun and adventurous things
It's time for us all to say goodnight

The Power to Change

We all have the power to change if we search inside our hearts
And we start to heal the wounds of all our yesterdays
And you know it might be hard, but all you've got to do is start,
And you can change all of your evil molesting ways.


 

 
 

Ïîñëåäíèé ýïèçîä
1213 - Elementary School Musical



Ñòýí ïîíèìàåò, ÷òî ìîæåò ïîòåðÿòü Âåíäè, åñëè íå ïîïàäåò íà îäíó âîëíó ñ íîâîé ìîäîé Íà÷àëüíîé Øêîëû Ñàóñ Ïàðêà. Êàðòìàí ñêîðåå ñâåðøèò ñàìîóáèéñòâî, ÷åì óñòóïèò. Îäíàêî, êîãäà Ñòýí, Êàéë, Êåííè è Êàðòìàí óçíàþò, ÷òî Áàòòåðñ òåïåðü ïîïóëÿðíåå ÷åì îíè, ó íèõ íå îñòàåòñÿ âûáîðà, êðîìå êàê ïîääàòüñÿ äàâëåíèþ ñâåðñòíèêîâ.


Ñêà÷àòü ñåðèþ

Äî âûõîäà 1214 îñòàëîñü
 

Ïîääåðæè ïðîåêò

sms.êîïèëêà

 



Çàìå÷àòåëüíûé õîñòèíã
 
 
Ïðè êîïèðîâàíèè ìàòåðèàëîâ ìû ïðîñèì îöåíèòü ïðîäåëàííóþ íàìè ðàáîòó è â êà÷åñòâå áëàãîäàðíîñòè ïðîñòî îñòàâèòü ññûëêó íà íàø ñàéò.
       
ñêà÷àòü South Park, êàðòèíêè South Park, èíôîðìàöèÿ î South Park, ñêà÷àòü ýïèçîäû South Park