Christmastime in Hell - Performed By Satan (Not the Hockey Player, the Dark Prince of Evil) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Satan: Well I tell you what, Maybe we'll have ourselves a little Christmas, right here. C'mon everyone, gather `round! String up the lights and light up the tree We're going to make some revelry Spirits are high, so I can tell It's Christmas time in hell! Demons are nicer as you pass them by There's lots of demon toys to buy The snow is falling and all is well It's Christmas time in hell! There goes Jeffery Dahmer, With a festive Christmas ham After he has sex with it, He'll eat up all he can. And there goes John F. Kennedy Caroling with his son Reunited for the holidays God bless us, everyone! Everybody has a happy glow Let's dance in blood and pretend its snow Even Mao Tse-Tung is under the spell It's Christmas time in hell! Adolf, here's a present for you. Hitler: Oh? O Tannenbaum! Satan: Yes, O Tannenbaum! God cast me down from Heaven's door To rule in hell for evermore But now I'm kinda glad that I fell 'Cause It's Christmas time in hell! Here's a rack to hang the stockings on We still have to shop for Genghis Kahn! Michael Landon's hair looks swell! It's Christmas time in hell! There's Princess Diana Holding burning mistletoe Over poor Gene Siskel's head Just watch his weenie grow! For one day we all stop burning And the flames are not so thick All the screaming and the torture stops As we wait for old Saint Nick! So string up the lights and light up the tree We're damned for all eternity But for just one day all is well It's Christmas time in hell! We've got to toast together, and make it quick! We've gotta make room for Andy Dick. Wake his mother and ring the bell It's Christmas time... (Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time...) Christmas time... (Christmas time... Christmas time... Christmas time...) It's Christmas time in hell! Merry Christmas Rooming House!